Saturday, March 20, 2010

Hurry Up Health Care Reform!

A little story about Do-It-Yourself medicine! It can be done and I'm sayin' necessity can point us in the right direction.

I mentioned to my Primary that my heel was really hurting as if she hadn't noticed by my pronounced limp walking to the examining table. Just so happens a Podiatrist co-habitats in her office space - how convenient. She was able to twist a few arms and get me in immediately.

Plantar fasciitis was the diagnosis (I already knew that from digging around on the internet) and a custom orthotic to "permanently" correct the problem was the recommendation. First things first, he checked my insurance and they don't cover orhtotics but it would be "only $600" and custom-fitted to my every joint, hand-crafted by slave labor in downtown New York and guaranteed to cure what ails me.

I said "What about Dr. Scholl's?" You can probably guess the reaction but I left with the empty promise to "think about it".

The very next weekend I was in WalMart looking for the machine I had seen on TV with all the doctor's lined up behind it. Found it, tried it - the directions were a little quick for me and I must have looked like an idiot lifting one leg then another trying to keep my balance! Jeez! Slow down - this is WalMart after all!!

After four tries I finally got the hang of it. It had come up with the same answer every time so I felt somewhat relieved with the consistency. I grabbed the #430 as instructed, paid my $50 and went away secure in the knowledge I had saved myself $550 plus untold office visits, x-rays and cortisone shots!

I went back to WalMart for the ankle braces and wraps - and was still way under the $600 I would have spent on the orthotics.

The crutches did up the ante a bit but by golly I was still way ahead of what that bastard was gonna gig me for.

Well now, the walker did probably eat up the last of the $600 but I was still ahead on the office visits and shots after all. I'd show him and his custom crap!

I didn't realize how damn expensive wheelchairs are!! I guess I'd have to call it even now! Ah...but wait there is one last thing...I do get a handicap placard for the car and now I can park up front at WalMart!!

But at least I didn't have to buy his damn custom orthotics!

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